First and foremost, we praise God and give Him the glory for all the things He has shown us and done through us. He is always faithful, always loving, and He continues to show us that.
For about the last year and a half, our family has been trying to fulfill God's calling on our lives to go to Uganda and share Christ's love to orphans and adoptive families. While we never imagined the obstacles that would come our way or how incredibly difficult the journey would prove to be, we have come to he conclusion that we have been blessed throughout the entire time. As my wife has continued to remind me, "It's not about us." God has shown us His grace and mercy at times when we were about to break or about to give up. He would give us strength and let us know that He was in control even though we did not understand what was going on. Who are we that our Creator should care enough to want to bring us comfort during times of stress? Who are we that the Lord of Lords should stoop so low to bring us peace? I don't know the answer to those questions, but it raises another: Who could deny the mercy that God extends when He loves and cares for us so much?
At the beginning of August, Amy and I prayerfully came up with a much needed plan for our next steps. This is what we wrote:
"We will wait for the house listing to fully run through. If the house sells, we plan to do our best to find a place to serve, fundraise, and go. If it doesn't sell, but we have found a place to serve, we will do what measures it takes to go regardless of the house. If the house doesn't sell, and there are no clear leads, then we plan to move back in the house and serve God from here. "
A couple weeks before the end of our house listing, an orphanage organization based out of Tulsa called us. We sent them an application and they wanted to meet us. About the same time, we were planning on moving back home and complete the granite countertop installation among other home projects. The countertops that came in were not what we ordered and I was very upset about it. Why did it feel like everything was breaking and every small task so big? A day or two after our house went off the market and we took the sign down, a guy called wanting to look at it. I told him that the kitchen was a complete mess because the countertops were ripped out. He said his wife would want to choose the countertops and backsplash anyways. Amy and I didn't know what to think. We gave it to God and left it up to Him. We were willing to stay or go and we were excited to know what His plan was for us.
We met with the organizations' board on September 9th, and got to know each of them and their passion for
ministry in Uganda. They called us later and wanted us to give them a proposal of what we want to do in Uganda. We sent three "ideas" to them and they will be discussing them in the coming weeks and get back to us.
Meanwhile, the guy that wanted to buy the house has since stopped communicating. He made a low offer and we countered and that was the end of that - so it seems.
Once again we are back to the unknown and the waiting. Waiting is hard to do, especially for extended periods of time. Waiting is hard to do when it doesn't seem logical. Why wait when we could be doing something or making progress? Believe me, we've gone through the range of emotions, the sin of impatience, the selfish thoughts, and the complaining. But in the end, God knows and His timing is perfect. If it were up to me, I probably wouldn't have made the Jews wander around in the desert for 40 years. That doesn't seem logical but it was perfect for what God wanted it to accomplish. In the end, Moses didn't get to even enter the promised land. We are prepared for the same fate. Does that mean Moses wasted his time? It might have felt like it to Him but in God's grand plan, it wasn't.
As we struggle with where to go from here, we remember our plan we made in August and tread toward that side of the lake. We plan to move back home. This could take a while because of all of the repairs to do but it will also give us time to evaluate the organization we talked with. There are a few things that are important for us to tell whomever may be interested:
1) We accepted 3 checks during this time from people wanting to support us. We greatly appreciate this support (and we really mean that). However, we did not cash any of them because we did not want to accept money without a firm plan in place.
2) We said we were going to go to Uganda to be missionaries. If we don't, we lied. This is unacceptable. Our kids have worked so hard for this and it is not right to tell people one thing and do another. If all doors close on us going to Uganda as long-term missionaries, we plan to still take a short-term mission trip to Uganda as a family.
3) God is good. This may be a test of faith for us, something to make us stronger for the future, a way for us to gain insight that we needed, or to open a door down the road that we don't even know about. We don't deny our calling. We wouldn't have moved and gone through this if we weren't 100% sure that God called us to do it. Just because we don't know where He is taking us doesn't mean we don't know who is driving. We praise Him and give Him the glory!
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